fay_e: Text: though our instincts say that we should turn and run (instincts turn and run)
Sunday, August 7th, 2016 10:53 am
I've convinced myself that the more something matters to me, the harder it is for me to talk about it. I'm sure you all have realised that I'm pretty tangled up in Zootopia since I saw it on March 17. I've actually held back on writing about it because I thought it would be too hard to put into words.

But I went back to flip through what I wrote the day after, and... it's actually pretty coherent. Some edits to the reaction for flow:

OTP squee under the cut )

So it's probably BS that I can't write reactions immediately. Especially because Nick the Snickers bar is a comparison that is GOLD and would never have occurred to me now. Even if it's true. I should totally write more immediate reactions.

The only thing I have to add is that since the movie, I've dedicated 79,528 (published) words as variations on the above theme, which I should really catch up on updating. I have more waiting in the wings! This OTP gets me so hard that I have to keep exploring it through fic.
fay_e: Text: if I told you a secret will you hold it and keep it alive (secret)
Wednesday, September 2nd, 2015 09:45 am
Sorry for people who saw the last post twice - I saw a typo and fixed it, not realizing that the "Use current time" option would use the time of editing. Alas.

So that this doesn't become just an apology, here's a meme about me

So what have you been up to? / Major life changes? Same old same old?

Same job, new team that has seen 3 changes in a single year for my direct bosses, so that's been annoying. I've also been experimenting with lifestyle changes such as clothes and dance classes, and since my self-esteem isn't the best it's come with some whiplash moments. But I think I am better overall.

What fandom are you in/do you spend most of your time in?

Not in any fandom at the moment, but judging from my tumblr surfing/reblogs I am technically in the MCU, Homestuck and Transformers fandoms. I'm just not writing fic at the moment for them, which is weird for me.

Where do you hang out online?

Here and tumblr, and that already takes up all my time.

What are you reading?

Guide books in preparation for my trip to Japan during the autumn leaves season. Sadly there isn't very much seasonal stuff.

What are you watching?

Media wise, nothing. I am keeping an eye on this pot of roses I bought in May because it likes to give me heart attacks like falling off the shelf or its blooms being so heavy it snaps the stem.

What are you making?

Currently rewriting the novel that I wrote for last year's NaNo. I'm 5 chapters in of 13, though I'm not sure if it will still be 13.

What are you squeeing about today?

Awesome music from 8tracks of the Kpop variety.

If you could rope old fandom friends into a new fandom, it would be.....

I don't have any new fandoms. I just wish my old fandom friends and I could find a new fandom to agree on. They'd probably ask me to watch Steven Universe, but while I enjoy seeing the posts on my dash I have no inclination to actually watch the series.

I should really watch/read/dive into _______ and then come talk to you about it!

Mad Max: Fury Road has been the movie of the year for me and I really wish I could talk to more people about it even though my urge to fic is not there. Also has anyone watched Hitman? I want to watch it for scenery pr0n.

What else is on your mind?

Another meme going around about what I would tell my 13 year old self - currently bouncing between "daring to be weird will actually make you a better person" and "the friends you make from now on, even the ones who were "forced" on you, will be your friends for life" - and of course spiraling into the nature of friendships and self-esteem from there.
fay_e: Text: silence falls between us, as the shadows steal the light (as the shadows steal the light)
Wednesday, August 26th, 2015 12:43 pm
In a new post, list ten fic that have stayed with you in some way. Don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard — they don’t have to be the “right” works, or even all the same pairing or fandom, just the fics that have touched you or that stuck with you somehow.

It's pretty interesting how the fics that have stayed with me are indicative of various times in my life. There's a fic from the time I used to read Harry Potter fics to get me through exams. There's fic from my Bleach writing days. And I've got things ranging from gen to straight up smut.

So here in no particular order are the fics that have stayed with me:

1) Who We Are by Persephone Kore
and other fics in the series
Once upon a time I used to intentionally type up all my class notes in my computer so come exam time, I could tell my parents that I needed to study on the computer because ALL MY STUFF IS THERE!!! and in between cramming I would read a LOT of Harry Potter fic, because people in that fandom were crazy enough to write novel length fics on FF.net which means I didn't have to open too many windows (yes tabs didn't exist then).

Who We are, though not quite being a novel, was one of the Harry Potter fics read in those days. It stuck with me because it has my favourite stuff: good Slytherins, better interhouse cooperation and people struggling to do good, even the good guys. The idea of a younger Tom Riddle getting a second chance and Ginny trying to figure out if he deserves it is catnip to me.

2) Means of Persuasion
But taking about novel length stories, I cannot NOT mention this fic from the Transformers fandom. I honestly don't remember which verse it came from (darn comics) but it contains my personal fanon for my favourite characters in the general Transformers universe to me. Yeah, there's a few glaring differences - I actually ship Prowl/Jazz and I'm EXTREMELY fond of all the fanon on Twin bonds, but the rest of it hits the spot. I love that Prowl struggles with the right decisions, and Bluestreak bounces back from everything, even his nearest and dearest reading him wrong. The action is pretty good too.

3) Rain Over Blue Water by The_Starhorse
For twin fic from the Transformers fandom though, I have to go with this fic even though it's just Sideswipe. His view of his identity just resonates throughout the fic.

4) Conflicts of Interest by rageprufrock
I like this story because I love the voice of Connor, which is young and self-absorbed without being annoying. But then again he's Lex Luthor's kid so what do you expect. The Clark Kent bits are bonus.

5) Cities in Dust (shit let's be hardboiled)
If there's a fic that fully captures the spirit of the canon that inspired it, this fic has my vote 200% of the time. It's a Homestuck fic that has colourful chat logs (both content and actual visual colours), great drawings, associated soundtrack and trolls actually being aliens. Also it features my boy Dave Strider and the too awesome to belong to anyone Terezi Pyrope.

6) New Orleans series by silverlining99
I would particularly recommend the first fic because it is HOT LIKE BLAZES (especially when you imagine it all with Karl Urban's Bones) and sometimes I fantasise about having a New Year's kiss that's half as hot. *fans self* Though the second fic has a great Kirk-Bones friendship.

7) Covert fic(s) by Ten
I cannot describe this fic due to it being under f-lock and never been published publicly. But elements of it keep popping up in my own fics and I only wish it was already a trope like the less deserving soulmates' name on your arm thing.

8) Icebreakers by Suppi-chan
Back when I was a wee little fanthing, I saved this fic to a NOTEPAD document and read the heck out of it. Up until now "Kinomoto Sakura was having a tantrum. it was a very small tantrum, and it was being conducted in the privacy of her best friend's room, but still, Kinomoto Sakura was having a screaming, kicking tantrum" is the best way to open a CCS fic ever. I'll fight you on this.

I have pretty much reached the end of fic that I've read YEARS after the fact, but I will link you to two more fics that I pretty much roll around in glee and squee when I see they update:

9) Battlefield Terra
A Homestuck fic where on top of aliens being aliens, there are hot robots and mindreading and cultural misunderstandings and moments of BLAZING HAWT.

10) Life in Reverse
I'm particularly tickled by the bookends of my post, but I had to put this here because the more things change the more they stay the same. I like "bad" guys who make the choice NOT to do bad, and have to struggle with it, and it's also a nod to my current fandom, as it were, of MCU.
fay_e: Text: If what they say is nothing last forever, what makes love the exception (what makes love the exception)
Thursday, December 11th, 2014 10:02 am
I stopped talking about the novel, because a) it was past NaNo, b) I read a post saying that writing about writing only took away the time from the actual writing, and c) I accidentally led myself into a ditch, because I was rereading my old notes and realised I forgot a central theme of my old novel: humans have to be saved from their own imagination. Because imagination, like fire, is a good servant but a bad master.

But on the flipside, I tend to read a lot of DW/LJ/blog posts when writing, and sometimes they help to unstick things in my brain. Then, because I forgot where I read it I can't explain how they got unstuck (see: the thing I mentioned two posts ago.)

So I thought I'd write this down before I forgot. I was reading a complaint about generic mermaid plots, which was broadly described as the following: "[girl who doesn't fit in] [meets mysterious boy] [discovers she must save an undersea kingdom]".

Since I was working on the novel, I immediately went to compare my current plotline to this. It fits the first two, [girl who (somewhat) doesn't fit in (at funky workplace dealing with dreams)][meets mysterious boy (at funky workplace)]. But on the last part, my heroine doesn't exactly save anything, not even the mysterious boy. In fact, she's a little responsible for temporarily breaking reality...

Then I realised that I could take the "inherent" traits in heroines of mermaid tales (or even princess tales) - traits of royal/mermaid/royal mermaid blood and honour and beauty and grace (how much these are linked are up to the author) - which the heroine forgot/didn't know about, and twist it a little. My heroine could have put a little too much spark of life into one of her previous dreams and forgotten about it... and now she has to fix her mistake.

At least, this is how the idea formed in my head. We'll see how it executes in the story itself.
fay_e: Text: how she rocks in keds and tube socks (rocks keds and tube socks)
Saturday, November 22nd, 2014 01:25 pm
The reason why I was writing just 350 words a day set me back to that baseline, which meant no time for even writing posts.

But towards the tail end of my busy period, I got to go for an art exhibition, and saw Gabriel Moreno's painting (the one in the body of the article). Immediately I thought, "This is Janelle from my novel."

Unlike the painter, Janelle in my head has African ancestry, but she definitely loves such bold colours! This is more reflective of her fun-loving aspect than the mentor she plays for my main character.

Her evolution has actually been kind of interesting. As hinted by her name, she actually started out a bit like Janelle Monae. Then I started to think Rihanna might be cool too, as was Lupita Nyong'o. These two ladies I suspect are the reason for Janelle's more forceful character, though the Janelle in my novel remains a lover of music and arts.
fay_e: Text: I'm the morning rain (morning rain)
Wednesday, November 19th, 2014 09:37 pm
Sorry, I was so cheesed off by the movie I watched that I forgot I was supposed to be posting about my writing process.

For this novel, after coming up with the world I needed a story to set it in. The trouble was that I didn't have a story. I had a cool world, and a bunch of characters that said they wanted to be in it, but nothing for them to do.

So I decided to try the Snowflake method. The idea is that you have a central sentence as your seed, and from there you draw it outwards like a snowflake. So from a sentence you pull it out into four more sentences, then four paragraphs, then four pages with scenes that you can pull out into a spreadsheet if you feel like it.

Easier said than done. The central sentence must be concise and suggest the direction of the novel. The four sentences springing from that central sentence also have to be specific, following the structure of 3 conflicts and an ending.

Luckily, I came up with a kickass sentence: A girl temporarily breaks reality when having technologically amped dreams.

And what four sentences did I pull from this? You'll have to find out!
fay_e: Text: though our instincts say that we should turn and run (instincts turn and run)
Sunday, November 16th, 2014 08:45 pm
By now this is my third year doing NaNo. 50k of words is a good target to aim for, but when you're working full time on top of writing it's a pretty sure fire way to burn out, or even fall sick.

This year I knew my day job was going to be pretty hectic and there was no way I was going to make about 1.7k of words a day. I needed a better plan.

Then I read this tumblr post about just writing 350 words a day. And taking two days off! This sounded like something I was capable of.

I'd been doing 750 words before that, so 350 words was a pretty easy target to hit. But not maxing out my word count also allowed me to dedicate other words to other areas. Plotting. World building that hadn't occurred to me. Rounding out new characters that had popped up.

So I'm pretty satisfied with using a 350 word count as a base, and counting everything else as a step up.
fay_e: Text: if I told you a secret will you hold it and keep it alive (secret)
Saturday, November 15th, 2014 09:15 am
It's 1993 and I've just lost my 3rd tooth. I'm sleeping with it under my pillow when I smell the most incredible floral perfume. The smell is so intense that I dream of rolling hills of flowers and grass. When I wake up, the tooth is gone. My parents, who hadn't been shy about giving me money in the morning for the previous two teeth the tooth fairy didn't take, swear it wasn't them.

It's 1995 and my teacher is handing out personalised reading assignments. She makes the mistake of handing me 20,000 Leagues under the Sea. From then on she catches me reading it non-stop under the table, but can't confiscate her own book.

It's 1997 and I have a nightmare about a scarecrow. I hate it enough that I drag myself out of my dream. From then on, I've had some control over what I dream. People call it lucid dreaming.

It's 1999 and I've watched the Matrix and Serial Experiments Lain in the same year. I spent the time waiting for the second Matrix movie thinking about technology and minds and all the different worlds. I watch the other Matrix movies, get disappointed and drop the idea of virtual worlds entirely.

It's 2010, and Inception has just been released. After the Matrix I go into it with a doubtful mind, but find the movie enjoyable even though I know dreams can be pushed a lot further than what the movie showed.

It's 2013, and I watch Pacific Rim and Sword Art Online. The idea of the shared minds to drive the Jaegar and a game that traps minds makes me recall 1999. I mull over the idea.

It's 2014, and reading all these posts in quick succession causes the more distant Inception to crash headfirst into Pacific Rim and Sword Art Online. I flail madly as a world is born.

It's 2014, and I'm writing a novel about lucid dreamers who are the last stand between the waking and the dream world.
fay_e: Text: I am not afraid to keep on living (not afraid to live)
Friday, November 14th, 2014 10:51 am
As it turns out, as of today I have:

- Written in 750 words for 1,001 days/nights. Hello Scheherazade nice to join your story telling club.
- Successfully used the Snowflake method to springboard a story.
- Written 25% of my novel according to NaNo standards.

So I think it's pretty safe to say yes, I am doing NaNo though it's an abbreviated version with only 350 words a day. Why will be part of a series of posts I'm planning to do about this novel and the writing process for it so far. Tentatively we have the starter topics of wordcounts, the seeds of the story, how to be better at worldbuilding, my experience with the snowflake method and how cool the characters in my story are. Interested? You're in for a good week ahead!

I might write beyond the next week too. One never knows.
fay_e: Text: If what they say is nothing last forever, what makes love the exception (what makes love the exception)
Thursday, April 10th, 2014 01:44 pm
Another thing I need to keep in mind: actions speak louder than words.

I think I do a pretty good job writing conversation, including situations where characters say one thing but mean the other. The trouble is that I tend to pad out the bits between conversations with thoughts, rather than actions. Even in the instances where I use actions, I like to write out the emotion behind them, as if that would somehow make them clearer.

Obviously I need to let the reader do a little of the work themselves, and just stop there.
fay_e: Text: Travelling I only stop at exits (only stop at exits)
Sunday, February 2nd, 2014 06:57 pm
There are some fics that hit you in the gut, and just continue after that. [personal profile] idella's fic, Sea Legs does just exactly that, and it's a plausible and awesome continuation from canon.

It seemed that the fic was knocking around my head for longer than I expected, because I found this in my 750 words archives. So I'd thought I'd edit and post it for my own enjoyment.

Title: Lay Your Weary Head to Rest
Summary: The strain of countless timelines catches up with Homura.

Homura gets some rest )
fay_e: Text: silence falls between us, as the shadows steal the light (as the shadows steal the light)
Thursday, December 5th, 2013 01:51 pm
I read this post about writing as a craft and [personal profile] melannen's response to it, and well. The first link to me makes me rage, because I am not a huge fan of the "writing is such a mythical process" and the "you either got it or you don't~~~" and I'm just old and I keep waving my canes at the kids on the lawn ok?

But [personal profile] melannen is awesome and her tips are awesome, so that inspired me to write some tips of my own. I know that I'm thinking about writing all the time (even at... work...) and that some of the exercises I do are such second nature to me now. I even go about my dreams in a writerly way!

So here are some of the exericses that I do to improve my writing, in no particular order.

1) Analysing your kinks, and writing out your favourite versions
2) Analysing your reactions to media - what works for you, and why?
2a) writing out quotes lists

I'm a very emotional person. So my favourite kinks and favourite scene draw out such reactions in me that even surprise myself! So I have the habit of analysing my kinks and how I react to media. What made me happy? Happy enough that I would clap my hands? What made me rage? Did I want to walk out? It didn't take much thinking to wonder if I could replicate those seal-clappy moments in my fic, and avoid the rage stomping type of things.

I put quotes as a subset because it's one thing to react to events, but another to react to writing enough that you think about replicating it in your writing. Only two authors have driven me to write down quotes.

To me, it's similiar to learning how the masters play music in order to perform in a similiar or same way. The reactions is about the mood, and the quotes are about the technique.

3) Thinking about writing. E.g. mulling over the story in the train.
4) Observation, and maybe writing it out (writing sketches)
5) Writing down lists of things that you like. E.g. I want to work the sound of thunder rattling glass into a story

These three are about working on writing on the go, especially when you have a busy schedule that doesn't let you do anything else. A lot of these don't even need anything more than pen and paper (or a phone in this digital age).

Quick lists are the key for my inspiration in that I can be inspired by anything, notice where my inspiration comes from, or in some cases revisit something that inspired me but I didn't have time then to expand.

6) Shopping for characters/doll makers
7) Learning the difference between observation and visualisation, and practising the latter more, esp with fantasy/sci-fi stories

These are a bit more deliberate, but also about inspiration and making the jump to actual things that would appear in novels. E.g. How does clothing reflect character? How do I turn the image in my head into something workable and doesn't change geography/the laws of physics (unless that's the point).

8) Practise writing starting lines: hooks, setting the scene, giving yourself a springboard to write
9) Figuring out where your natural stopping points are. Writing over them
10) Idea of puppy pound and learning how to write with the idea that nothing is sacred, and to cut without feeling pain
11) Finding out what annoys you. E.g. blank pages are my nemesis

These are a bit more on the writing technique itself, but they are on very different points of writing technique.

Edit: I found this too, and YES YES YES this is completely what writing consciously is all about: http://lightgetsin.dreamwidth.org/326659.html
fay_e: Text: I'm dreaming away, wishing that heroes they truly exist (wishing heroes exist)
Friday, November 29th, 2013 09:00 pm
Dear reader,

Today I completed NaNo for the second time at 50,094 words.

It's a day early to boot! This experience was really very different from my last NaNo experience. I used to think that writing 2,000 words at a go was too hard, but that became my average towards the end. Which was good, because I had some very awful days in the middle of the month when I was too sick to write.

The methods that I used to write this round were very interesting. I more or less had a routine on workdays that went something like this:

Daily writing process )

I also have to say I love technology. I wouldn't have been able to do this if I hadn't been able to load Evernote on my tablet, smartphone and office computer that I couldn't install anything on. There was sufficient web functionality for me to keep my versions straight, but also let me peck out words while the connection was bad without worrying too hard about losing stuff. I think the only exception was when my work computer couldn't connect to the internet for a good few days, but then I typed discreetly on my smartphone.

Weekends bizarrely weren't times for writing a lot, but instead for making sure that I kept my story straight. The idea of a puppy pound was also such a godsend.

I'm going to take a break by WRITING NOVEL RELATED PR0N. Which won't make it into the story itself, because I think that as much as I love pr0n, I don't want it to detract from the rest of my story. So it will only be as treats to myself =)

As for next month, I think I will focus on finishing the story. I'm up to Chapter 10 and one major reveal, but there's one more to go and a possible tonal shift in the final section. Other plans are: do a read through to fix grammar and spelling; start looking at reference images to bulk up descriptions and/or store for a novel related tumblr; record myself reading the novel aloud, and listen to it while editing to make sure there aren't any awkward bits.

We'll see how much of the last para gets done. ^_^
fay_e: Text: This shit is bananas, b.a.n.a.n.a.s (I don't know) (bananas)
Monday, November 18th, 2013 10:52 am
I've been an active (reader, not poster) on LJ/DW for some time, and I've gotten pretty used to having just having community posts on my dash. Lately, people have been posting and I feel really happy about it!

It made me realise that I haven't posted in just as long to simply update everyone on how I'm doing. Part of it is due to busyness, while the other part of it is due to the fear of jinxing stuff.

For the latter, I guess it's time to admit that I am doing NaNo. I'm writing an original novel that I hope to use as a means to suss out what the publishing scene is like, and not be completely devasted about when no one picks it up (oh who am I kidding, I will be). So far, in NaNo word count I'm doing pretty well, losing only a day despite falling sick twice.

More importantly, I've been learning things about my writing style that I wouldn't have learnt if I hadn't had to tackle my own universe. I tend to write in a very scene-based manner - an image will pop into my mind, and I'll write it down before going into the mechanics of how the scene happened. It's kind of exciting, but also weird because that means that I know just as much as the reader about the universe at that point.

I also learned that I hate hate hate writing descriptions. I'm more interested in the snazzy dialogue, and when you ask me about where the conversation is taking place, or what the people look like, I'd start and get very bored and do something else. It's funny because descriptions of surroundings are what I grok on in stories.

Alright, back to actual NaNoing now. With luck, I'll get to writing about watching Thor tomorrow.
fay_e: Text: If what they say is nothing last forever, what makes love the exception (what makes love the exception)
Saturday, October 5th, 2013 09:06 am
I made the mistake of watching Bleach episode 342, after a really long time of looking at other things. I'd saved the ep on my phone, and was checking what was on it on a rainy morning.

This time round, I picked up on different things. I noticed that Ichigo complained that Rukia wasn't looking at him, but after she did he knew what she wanted to say. Which was why when Rukia was saying her farewell, she was looking away before looking at him in that last moment. Can I just say this is one of my kinks? Where speaking is not communication, because there are so many other ways to communicate too.

I also noticed that Ichigo went down fighting to the last, and Rukia let him. It's the partner kink that I've been nattering about all this while.

And just like that, I'm back in love with IchiRuki all over again. It's my forever OTP, because it encapsulates all the things that I like and look for in a pairing. Canon hasn't been very kind to them (both as characters and as a pairing), but I'll always hold IchiRuki near and dear to my heart.
fay_e: Text: I'm the morning rain (morning rain)
Wednesday, September 25th, 2013 11:04 am
I need to find a bookmarking thing that works at the office, because even though it's not technically work related, this article on how to read scientific papers is actually pretty useful. Reading dense reports? This might be a way to figure out what the report writer is saying!

(Of course, that assumes a basic level of writing ability, but one never knows.)
fay_e: Text: I'm the morning rain (morning rain)
Monday, September 23rd, 2013 04:19 pm
Since I last updated, I uprooted myself and came back to my hometown and work. That means that I've been reading work documents, and we all know how exciting that is. Luckily, since I've been working a long time I've developed a way around this boredom - I read meta!

... yeah that's probably boring to everyone else but me. But see, the good thing about this solution is that if I read everything in a light format, it looks like I'm reading work documents! Score!

Plus it's because of reading meta at work that I stumbled upon this gem: The Reason Escapist Time Travel Doesn't Star Women Is That We Haven't Written It Yet.

This strikes me as hilarious, because as soon as I read the title, the first thing I thought of was "Isn't there an anime called The Girl Who Leapt Through Time"? The next thing I thought about was of course, Akemi Homura, who takes up a lot of mental space. There's also a really popular Chinese drama, where the main character is a modern girl who ends up as a princess in Ancient China. So I wonder if the adament insistence that there aren't any time travelling women is just a Western media thing, or if the writers aren't digging hard enough?
fay_e: Text: though our instincts say that we should turn and run (instincts turn and run)
Friday, February 1st, 2013 08:05 am
I haven't been posting here, since I've been rushed off my feet, but I can officially say that I wrote for (almost) every day of the [livejournal.com profile] 31_days challenge! GO ME.

Now I just have to write [livejournal.com profile] picfor1000 and [community profile] trope_bingo. WILL THE FUN NEVER CEASE.
fay_e: Text: I'm the morning rain (ichiruki dorky love)
Tuesday, May 29th, 2012 09:32 pm
I had many feels after watching the Bleach anime episode 342... and suddenly while writing this I had no feels. OK.

A rough short )

I don't know how it became like this. It was meant to be a story about how far they are under each other's skin that it doesn't really matter whether or not they are in love with each other to Rukia. It just is. But sometimes Ichigo needs that assurance because he doesn't always understand. Otherwise it's like what happens at the riverside - he just wants to TEST her commitment. But then it turned into... this. I dunno.
fay_e: Text: I'm the morning rain (morning rain)
Saturday, August 13th, 2011 09:05 am
For Reasons that I Shall Not Go Into, here is a definitive list of things that I would write for, if I had the time/energy, as of this date. Items in bold are things that I have written for.

Updated 2016