Fic commentary - Pt 4/? for a question of time

[fay_e]

One last thing before we dive into the fic - I hate writing summaries.

But I think I did a good job with this summary:

(Homestuck-Madoka Magica crossover) On an Earth that seems reset to pre-SBURB normalcy, Dave Strider transfers to Mitakihara. There he finds the magical girl system, more universe breaking powers, and an Akemi Homura all too eager to fix her time abilities with his...

It gets the key elements in - a supposedly pre-SBURB Earth that has a Mitakihara and a Homura, so that Dave can meet her. But how did they get there? You'll have to read the fic.

Which you can do too, with commentary! In this part, I'll be swapping the fic commentary to be in blockquotes, with the main fic as the actual text.

If you prefer to read the version of "a question of time" without commentary, it is here on AO3.


Chapter 1

Monday morning, and Dave Strider was already checking off several tropes.

Might as well get the obvious out of the way before anyone went tripping over it and hitting everything on the way down, all “I told you about stairs, bro” style. First day of school, check, like a teen movie high off whiffing its own hormones. Transfer Student, check, thanks to Bro. Who was making his own digs in Tropeville with his decision to ollie outie from Houston by becoming an English teacher in Japan, another shiny achievement for the Otaku Legion. Dave didn't feel like kicking around Houston by himself, plus how often would he get the chance to hang in the land of shitty swords and anime waifus?

One of the things I enjoyed about Dave Strider's way of speaking was his use of tropes. That's why I started this version of the fic with the starting point of having Dave going into tropes.

On hindsight, I think I used way too many of them. But I think that it works for Dave's state of mind at this point, because he is putting up waaaaay of a front.

So now Dave was a gaijin, a foreigner in a sea of Japanese students, who probably thought they were doing a bang up job of hiding their stares and whispers as he walked past. Like they could, with how many cliques there already were because Dave was a Late Joiner (so the US school term worked differently from Japan's, they could deal).

Dave could handle stares, especially after beating SBURB just to end up on an Earth reset to the way it was before the game.

And there's the setting of this verse based on the Homestuck side. No Earth C here, kids, we are back to a world like ours, except with sylladexes and stuff... right???

"Need me to walk you to your homeroom?"

Alright, maybe not 100% the way it was. It was still weird to see Bro and hear Dirk. The Bro that Dave knew would never have made such an offer or walked next to Dave without a body check and an impromptu strife at some point.

To this version of Bro, Dave dared a drawl of "Bro, I'm not five."

"Shit, seems like the timestamp on that memory was 11 years ago. You're still plenty short." When this Bro reached out, it was to pat the top of Dave's head to remind him how short he was. Dave put up with it, just like he was putting up with being in middle school because doing high school in Japanese on top of missing years of regular school? Dave wasn't into the BDSM life.

Bro's shove was a little more familiar. "Find something to entertain yourself that doesn't involve getting into trouble."

If you've read Part 3 of my fic commentary, you'll find this exchange familiar! I thought Dirk as Bro trying to encourage Dave on his first day of school could overreact and behave like fanon Bro, because that's how Dirk thinks an adult Bro should act on Dave's first day right? Right? Oh poor Dirk, canon Bro would not even take Dave out of the apartment if it wasn't the roof...

Thanks to the fresh-off-the-production-line, limited edition Strider-sensei, Dave had the jump on getting to the right class despite the maze of fancy architecture and glass everywhere. Not that it was any better in the classroom, just the same stares and whispers - it was kind of getting old.

Except for the record skip of one student stepping out of the crowd to approach him. A student who happened to be a girl. Specifically a girl with amazing legs, cool expression, silky black hair held back with a ribbon in Dave's favorite red, like a gift-wrapped version of boy meets girl from actual rom-coms, not the shitty troll knock offs from Karkat's illicit stash. As far as temporary distractions went, Dave could do worse.

I had fun imagining how Dave would think of Homura if he first met her in a mundane context. Also I had to bring up rom-coms, because this is a ship fic, and once you mention rom-coms, Karkat is a must. Plus, given that this is post-retcon Dave, he would have spent a lot of time watching stuff with Karkat, because I'm sure Dave still consumes media like a mofo, even if it's Karkat's collection.

Then the girl spoke, and the moment wasn't a simple record skip that could be forgotten in a moment, the needle went so hard over the record that it cracked right through. "You're in the wrong place," she said in Japanese.

Dave shot back his flattest, "What?"

That came out in English, but she still replied in Japanese, "You should report to the school office first." She tossed an explanation over her shoulder as she walked past. "I was a transfer student before. I know where it is."

Since this is a time shenanigan fic, I had to reference Dave's device for time shenanigans. He doesn't know that Homura could do more than a record skip because she's a time person!

Also, this point was where I came across one of the issues I had with this fic. Because I love my banter, I decided to make Dave conversant in Japanese, so that I could write banter as if the Universal Translator existed. The problem is that Dave also feels like something who would language switch at any given opportunity. Although I used italics for "gaijin" earlier, it didn't feel right to use italics for all the Japanese conversation. All the conversations between the magical girls would be in italics!! So I decided to explain what language was being used in descriptions.

It's... still very painful T_T But I had another reason to use italics that'll come up later.

There were worse reasons for Dave to follow. Besides, why should he pass up the chance to admire the view from behind?

He wasn’t entirely an ass though (though the girl had a choice specimen, someone stacked the Appearance stats). So he asked, remembering his Japanese this time, "Do you have a name or should I keep calling you Former Transfer Student?"

"It's Akemi Homura."

"Dave Strider." His name rolled off his tongue the Western way, even though she hadn't asked or even turned to face him. She was too busy striding down the bridge (made of, whodda thunk it, glass) leading to the next block like she owned it. "How long since you transferred? Are you sure you’re remembering correctly how the first day of the transfer goes?"

Akemi Homura didn't even bother with a reply. Instead she stepped into the next building and pushed open the first door she came across. Dave followed her.

Ok I admit this is about my own hard-on for Homura's and Madoka's repeated meetings on that glass bridge in Episode 1, Episode 10 and even in Rebellion. The way Homura introduced herself to Madoka got stuck in my head, which is why even now I can't write Homura's name any other way.

But Dave is no Madoka, so he's the one who demands an introduction, even though Homura would rather not introduce herself to anyone else on this bridge. Stupid boy doesn't know this bridge is Significant.

Also because my Dave Strider is contrary and very stuck in his (foreign) ways, I had him introduce himself given name-family name. Also because I really really like Dave's name in this order.

It was an office, since Bro was there along with a stack of forms. Like Dave, Bro's eyes were hidden by shades, but Dave didn't need to see his eyes to feel the razor like focus of Bro's attention.

If Akemi knew that she was getting a fair share of Bro's attention, she didn't show it. "Ask for our form teacher, she will tell you what you need."

Just as suddenly as she appeared, she turned and stepped out of the office, leaving Dave to mull the mystery of Akemi Homura.


So there were two Striders instead of one.

Homura discovered this when her usual English teacher introduced the new teaching assistant, family name first. It was unlike the way "Dave Strider" had introduced himself to her, on the same bridge that Madoka had first introduced herself.

It didn't matter. Especially not when the Incubator, Kyubey, came sidling up to Homura's school bag.

I wanted to contrast Dave's overblown descriptions in the previous section to Homura's attempt to be indifferent here. She keeps mentioning other things as well when she mentions Dave, until she can't anymore.

"Shouldn't you be with Tomoe-san?" she murmured, since only magical girls could see Incubators.

Kyubey batted at the top of the bag. Wraiths usually appear closer to your school than Mami's. It's too bad she graduated.

This is another reason why I used italics. I just got so used to Kyubey's mental speech being in italics that I had to do the same for this fic. I don't really like the alternate markers for telepathic conversation.

Also given Mami is in her final year in the actual series, another year means that she would be in high school. At first I was a little sad that I couldn't set the entire story in high school to keep the magical girls together, but that's actually a benefit since I don't have to juggle as many characters in scenes.

That would be Homura and Kyouko next year, but she didn't tell the Incubator that as he wriggled his way inside her bag. It didn't matter. Homura had lived her life not expecting time to pass beyond the one month that she had been living in. Another year to Homura was as distant a concept as infinity.

Kyouko brought Homura back to the present, plonking herself in the nearest seat for the paired assignment. "Strider-sensei wants us to practice asking each other where we're from. And answering!" she groaned, the only one not speaking English at the moment.

Kyouko's school record was spotty, and her English even spottier. She needed the practice more than Homura did, so Homura let her try more times, offering suggestions instead of asking the set questions. She knew that her lack of practice was obvious, so she'd been prepared for either of the teachers to come over.

I think any Kyouko at school fics would do her a disservice if they didn't acknowledge how much being on the streets (and arguably before that too when she was too poor even for food) kept her away from any kind of formal education. Also I wanted to show that even though it isn't easy for Kyouko, she's still adamant to work at it like a magical girl fight. It's not time yet for us to learn why.

Also I wanted to show more secret softie Homura. She knows how hard it is to restart school, which is why she's kind to Kyouko (and Dave earlier).

But it was the younger Strider with the round shades, not the older Strider with the pointed ones, that came over. He'd been exempted from the exercise given that he had been speaking English his entire life. Even though Homura suspected Strider was here to get her attention again, she was curious despite herself. He'd spoken to her in Japanese earlier, understandable despite the strange way that he'd drawn out some of the sounds. She had not really paid attention when he spoke in English.

Strider surprised her by first speaking to Kyouko. Just as surprising was that his accent persisted when he spoke English, yet his accent seemed to mold to the words better, even with a simple question of, "What's your name?"

"Sakura - I am Sakura Kyouko," Kyouko managed, even though she tripped over the order of the English words.

Strider waited a second, two before he switched languages to say, "You can ask for my name any time now."

"Why should I?" Kyouko's annoyance came through better when she had the whole range of Japanese at her disposal. "You just introduced yourself in front of the entire class, Strider Dave!"

This, this, THIS is part of the reason that I started writing this fic. I really wanted Dave interacting with the other magical girls, and Kyouko was way too happy to provide the sass. Even though she had to switch to Japanese to get to the sass, because I couldn't imagine any world where Kyouko's English would be good.

In Kyouko's mouth it was too obvious that Strider had a foreign name, with the "v" and "str" sounds that didn't exist in Japanese. Strider bore the mangling of his name well. "Think you could do that sentence again in English?"

Under Strider's prompting, Kyouko made a pretty good attempt at the English version, which gave her the confidence to try the questions set by the teachers. The moment Kyouko got on track was when Strider decided to go off track.

"You were from Kazamino City? When did you transfer to Mitakihara?"

Kyouko practically crowed in English, "I was here, a year ago."

"It's a Transfer Student torch relay all up in here, blazing through the entire place making everything even hotter than our combined good looks."

It's too bad the long spiel in another language left Kyouko confused; Homura would've liked to hear her comeback to that.

Homura speaking on my behalf here. Darn these language barriers!

Some of Homura's thoughts must have shown on her face, because Strider tossed out at her, "How long since you transferred?"

"I transferred when I was 14." It's the easiest version to say, both in terms of truth and the English words Homura was more comfortable with. "How long since you transferred?"

"Today, or if you wanna get all precise about it, 3 hours 25 minutes 6 seconds," Strider rattled off. Homura's long dormant time sense stirred with the realization that he was right about how much time had passed since the start of the school day.

Despite herself, he'd managed to capture her attention.

I had way too much fun getting Dave to show off his time powers here. Also Homura is reluctantly acknowledging that she might not be able to keep talking about other things in addition to Dave.

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 19:36 --

GG: dave!! how is japan!!!

Of course Jade was the first to ask from her place in the middle of the Pacific; it's 05:36 for Rose and even earlier in the morning for John.

I always found it strange that Homestuck-PMMM crossover fics didn't give Jade a speaking part, when she's literally the Witch of Space. Since Homura has a very fixed idea of what Witches are, I wanted to leverage on the Drama.

But there was no reason for me to bring Jade to Japan right off the bat, especially since the Striders only just got to Japan. And I was already feeling the strain of balancing the three characters in the previous scene, so I decided not to bring Rose and John into this at this point in time.

TG: woah harley not even a hi how are you
TG: straight to japan your new squeeze
TG: all this fine strider human cast aside for an island of volcanoes and cherry blossoms
GG: there are no cherry blossoms now!!
GG: wrong time of year a knight of time should know!!
TG: shit you got me brb going to hang up my cape now to the sobs of all these maidens mourning the loss of my knighthood and chivalry
GG: before you go tell me what you think of japan!!!

Times like these Dave wondered if they were too focused on finding out how much of their powers they still had access to. Finding out if Jade was part dog was a valid use of time.

TG: alright jade time to let go of that question let it fly like a well thrown newspaper so we can play fetch
TG: no need to ask how i am ive maxed out my quota of how are you
TG: oops there i go again busting the limit sticking it to the man
TG: japan is fine and ungodzilla stomped
TG: its 22 minutes to midnight where you are what happened to sleep

Some days Dave missed snoozy Jade, because present Jade was Red Bull all nighter Jade, and he was never sure when she rested.

This is basically Dave info dumping what I think Jade would be in this canon. He shares my obsession with Jade's furry status, even if he's more crass about it. Also, given that Jade spent most of Homestuck sleeping thanks to Vriska, and one of the question marks in this verse is what happened to the trolls, I decided to go the opposite route and make Jade super awake.

GG: yes but
GG: i wanted to know all about how things are do you have a place yet how was school how cool did you feel???
TG: oh man you know it
TG: at my chillest against all the hot stares from being a fine specimen of gaijin
TG: hot bod blonde hair no blue eyes cos id be overpowered

I confess I adapted this exchange from one of Dave and Jade's pesterlogs, because I really like this particular log. Also they like to cross-reference and have in-jokes, so that's not that OOC.

>HEAR DOOR SLAM, FOLLOWED BY RUSTLE OF BAGS

TG: shit
TG: dinner is served courtesy of bro the takeaway butler
TG: i hate to eat and text but you babe are the exception to the rule
GG: go eat! i can wait
GG: or reach across space to try a bite for myself I havent decided yet!
TG: i know im only the time guy
TG: but tick tock dinner time for me means its bedtime for you
TG: do you remember a thing called sleep
TG: or did you max out your lifetime supply with all the sleep from before
GG: i cant sleep :(
GG: the universe is shifting :( :(

>BE NOT AMUSED

Bro opened the door just enough to pop his head in, spot Dave's expression and make a tactical retreat. Probably to eat all the takeaway himself, but Dave had more important things on his plate.

I wish I had more energy for the action tags in pesterlogs =\ Also sometimes I wish I had a Dirk pov because this is not the first time that Dirk Bro has seen Dave making these faces. This universe is really not want Dave wanted, as we are soon to learn.

TG: what the hell harley
TG: and you were asking how is japan
TG: getting out my timetables going back to the start of chat so you can redo and ask me how is the universe maybe
GG: the universe is still stable!
GG: just creaking a little :(
TG: creaking enough for your spacey senses to start tingling
GG: but your timey senses arent tingling
GG: i dont think lord english is trying new timelines again or looking for a tug of war rematch
TG: he got the drop on us once
TG: pulled us out of the earth c timeline into this clusterfuck of a universe
TG: trolls on alternia humans on earth dont even know if the mayor has his own planet
GG: i cant find derse or prospit :(
TG: shoosh babe i know u tried

Dave knew he shouldn't type the next bit like a broken record featuring dead horses that were experiencing a different kind of beat, but he still did.

TG: you know what would be a lot easier to try
TG: warping alternia to us
TG: give earth a new next door neighbor
TG: id trade you you reach across space i get elbow deep in time go rooting about in the sands until i grab grandpa jake and nanna jane

He knew what Jade would say too, but he still read what she typed like a soon to be Dead Dave following a doomed timeline.

GG: what if spacetime shenanigans push us further away instead of together
GG: what if our powers work too well and we end up breaking this universe
GG: we could lose dirk bro and roxy mom too :(

Dave's current apartment was quiet enough that he could hear Bro starting on his food. That was the thing though - it's quiet. The place should be a lot more noisy with Jake laughing at Dirk and Karkat complaining and maybe even Terezi snarking -

They weren't there, though. And Bro was alone because Dave was in his room, being useless by wishing for others to be there instead of doing something about it himself. If Dave wasn't careful it wouldn't be spacetime shenanigans that pushed them apart.

TG: im grabbing dinner now
GG: i miss them too :(
GG: see you later

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 19:44 --

I couldn't figure out any other way to let the reader know the reason I cooked up for the characters being in Madoka's universe and why Dirk has Bro's body. The gist as filtered through Dave and Jade is that the players got to the door to the new universe. But similar to the way that the trolls' door got hacked by Jack Noir, Lord English showed up to mess with the door that came from the Alpha kid's session, and he used TIME to mess with it. Because of that, the door cycled through every iteration of the door that had ever existed. One iteration was the door to the beta kids' universe that the trolls were supposed to go to, before it was destroyed. This version of the Homestuck crew went through that particular door.

I didn't get to cover this in the story itself, so I'll record it here. The reason why the door led to the PMMM version of Earth is because when Madoka made her wish, she also absorbed all other universes where her wish was not the Law. This included the beta kids' universe. Which is why the door assigned them to the next available universe after the beta kids' universe - Madoka's universe.

I also hope my excuse to not write the trolls and the other Alpha kids was properly supported by plot, even though I mainly did it to save my own sanity.

Thanks to her wings, Homura got to the Wraiths before Kyouko and Mami. As usual.

Fine by her. She strung her bow with magic and summoned an arrow (as she'd seen Madoka do a thousand times). Honed by all the different weapons she'd used, muscle memory let Homura aim and fire for the arrow to fly true. (Did it come as easy for Madoka?)

One of the things that struck me about Episode 12 was that Homura took on a lot of things that we associate with Madoka. For example, Homura has magical arrows. The bow she uses to fire them is also topped by a rose. If even I could make such an association, then Homura would make the associations even faster than I would. She had studied Madoka for so many timelines.

Wraiths didn't have Witch barriers but it still took a number of arrows to bring them down. Without someone to watch her back, Homura used her wings to keep her distance and prevent the Wraiths from surrounding her.

It's long, slow work but that's fine. (Nothing was as long and as slow as Homura's fight against Walpurgisnacht.)

One of the Wraiths collapsed into Grief Cubes when Homura's barrage of arrows was topped off with a stab from a spearhead. She flew closer, intending to cover Kyouko so that she could focus on the direct attack. As she swooped down, she saw that there was no need for cover when the Wraiths were all bound by ribbons, keeping them from harming both humans and the magical girls who were fighting them.

Mami fired off a barrage, much like Homura had just moments earlier, although Mami's attack was made of bullets rather than energy arrows. Mami took the reprieve provided by her salvo to call out, "Akemi-san! Are there any humans trapped by the Wraiths?"

"No, they escaped when I distracted the Wraiths."

"Then start with the Wraith on the right!"

It was Homura's fight before Mami arrived, but it's easier for her to just follow Mami’s instructions. Mami's ribbons allowed Kyouko and Homura to focus more on attacks. Since they only had to dodge the Wraith's lasers, the fight finished much faster than if Homura were to fight alone.

Another thing I spent a lot of time thinking about is how different fighting Wraiths would be from fighting Witches. Given the number of Wraiths that appeared in Episode 12, I thought it would be nice to assume that magical girls would have to work as a team, and force Homura to fight side by side with Mami and Kyouko. I also wanted to show the different damage levels that their attacks would have on the Wraiths.

Mami took charge of the Grief Cube distribution as well. "Let's just use enough Grief Cubes to cleanse our gems, and keep the rest in case our Soul Gems are dulled from other uses of magic."

In the old universe, where it was possible to taint a Soul Gem fighting familiars, Homura had admired Mami's caution. She wasn't sure what prompted Mami to be as cautious in this universe; maybe knowledge of Wraiths that Homura did not have, or Mami's leftover memories from the previous universe.

Mami did pick up on Homura's muted response. "Akemi-san, you can have more Grief Cubes since you started the fight much earlier. We'll be fair since you spent more magic."

I'm a little proud of this foreshadowing, because I wanted to show that Mami expects Homura to use a lot of Grief Cubes. It's early enough that we can think of it as a quirk of this universe, but we'll find out later that it's not.

"It's fine." Homura ran her hand through her hair and flicked it. Even if not all of Homura’s memories applied to the Mami of this universe, the Mami that Homura remembered most vividly clung on to being the veteran magic girl that knew the most as a core part of her identity. Mami would not take well to a challenge of her identity based on experience only Homura remembered.

Kyouko might be convinced, but she had spent enough of her life in this universe for Homura to conclude that she would not be a useful ally. This Kyouko also had a long history of partnering Mami and was too used to her way of fighting Wraiths.

Like when Mami suggested, "It's not safe to cleanse our Soul Gems outside. Let's go to my place for cleansing and cake."

Kyouko only paused in munching her Pocky to comment, "I think I finished the cookies and cream cake."

"I managed to save a slice for you and I'll make more tomorrow."

"Then let's go."

There were times when Homura suspected that her presence was preventing Kyouko and Mami from settling back into the rhythms of their usual partnership. Homura had no favorite cake, since she had not been allowed any when being treated for her heart condition. She couldn't appreciate cake the way Kyouko did, or Madoka used to. Madoka deserved to join them for cake more than Homura did.

That said, even though this is a new universe, I think Homura would hold over a lot of attitudes from past timelines. Homura... can get very set in her ways.

She still followed them to Mami's apartment because she did need Grief Cubes. The latest change to teatime in Mami's apartment was the high school uniform that Mami wore. Since leaving middle school, she'd developed a keen interest in finding out how Kyouko and Homura's classes were going.

"Are lessons harder now that it's your final year?" she asked, while Kyouko and she counted out Grief Cubes. Homura sipped on her tea and left Kyouko to answer.

"They're always hard," Kyouko groaned. "I should just drop out of school, I'll never make it."

"You said you were tired of working at the convenience store."

"I said I was tired of getting the night shifts, that's when the Wraiths come out."

"Then you should study more so you have better job choices."

I wanted to hint at the reasons why Kyouko would be staying with Mami in this universe. In my head, it started out as Kyouko borrowing Mami's address for job applications, to popping by to check for mail, to eventually staying late enough that Mami let her sleep in a guest room. Once Kyouko started leaving her stuff in the room, they were effectively roommates.

Mami finished up dividing the Grief Cubes and handed one to Homura. As the cube began to draw out the tainted energy from her Soul Gem, Homura found that her thoughts about Kyouko and Mami's partnership faded in intensity. It was a necessary reminder that in this universe, grief still had the same effect on a magic girl, even if they never reached the inevitable conclusion of that grief thanks to Madoka.

"Akemi-san, do you think Kyouko is right and school is hard?"

School had gotten harder for Homura after they had moved on to new topics that weren't covered during her time loops. She knew that it didn't show, because Kyouko rolled her eyes and said, "She still gets perfect grades. Plus she spoke in English to a transfer student from America without breaking a sweat!"

Mami lowered her tea. "America? How exciting. That sounds like a rare chance to improve your English."

"More like get tortured. Our new teacher is from America too, and he talks so fast! Argh! All this frustration is making me hungry!"

And now all the magical girls know about the Striders. I thought Kyouko would bring it up, though neither she nor Mami are the kind to make decisions off the cuff, so we don't know what they actually think of the Striders yet.

As Kyouko chowed down on a slice of cake, Mami turned to Homura. "It's good that you're getting perfect grades. Do remember to take breaks too. Life isn't all about studying."

Homura flicked another Grief Cube closer to her Soul Gem. Even though that cube also started drawing in grief, it didn't soften her selfish desire for Mami's reminder to come from someone else. "I'll keep that in mind," she said, not wanting Mami's hopeful expression to fade. "Your cake is delicious. You said that this is a zuccotto?"

She knew that would prompt Mami to talk about the baking process, which let Homura fall back into her own thoughts again.

I only chose a zuccotto because the name sounded really cool. I have since eaten a zuccotto at a Japanese cafe, and I can safely say that a zuccotto is not baked. But then again, I feel it's in line with Homura's character to not care about the actual process for cakes.

It'd been two weeks since she'd sent Dave Strider to the school office, and her classmates had yet to get bored of staring at him.

It was hard not to notice him, with his ever present shades a sharp contrast to his pale hair and skin, and the foreign lilt to his words.

I wanted to make it seem that once Homura noticed Dave, she couldn't stop noticing Dave.

He even got attention from the teachers. They seemed intent on finding out exactly how much he knew, and at some point in the lesson he would be picked to answer questions. That in turn drew more attention from the students, including Homura if she wanted to follow along with the lesson. In the process, some things became obvious to her.

One: Strider had probably done reasonably well at school in the US, as he seemed intelligent. He understood the teachers' questions, and his responses, if unstructured, usually led to the right conclusion.

Two: unless it was Math, he was completely unable to present on the board.

Which was probably linked to three: for all that he could hold his own in spoken Japanese, his written Japanese lagged behind.

She didn't know if the other students had come to the same conclusion as her, but she did know that it resulted in a lot of gossip around Dave Strider. Homura wondered if all transfer students went through the same hard process. Watching Strider reminded Homura of the very first time that she had transferred to Mitakihara, all those timelines ago. That was why she had directed Strider to the right place on the first day of school. It was also why, when the bell for the lunch break sounded, she had stopped when she saw that Strider had remained in his seat, while students hovered behind him and whispered among themselves. Was this how Madoka had felt watching Homura hunched over her desk with the force of all the attention?

Madoka would have done something for Strider, too. But since it was Homura and not Madoka who was here, Homura owed it to Madoka to do something about this.

After the set up that Homura noticed her magic had become more like Madoka's, I thought it would be a good time to show that Homura thought of herself like a Madoka replacement. Therefore, she is all What Would Madoka Do on a regular basis.

Kyouko, not knowing what was going through Homura's mind, snagged the corner of Homura's sleeve while passing and tugged. "Let's go. I can't eat properly in this stuffy classroom."

"Go ahead, I have some work to do."

Kyouko let go with a shrug. There was nothing Homura could do about the other students still watching, so she steeled herself and walked over.

Strider noticed her coming over immediately. "Woah, are you my personal GPS?" he rattled off in English. "Keeping track of where I'm supposed to be, prompting me not to miss the turn towards lunch oops overshot the exit you have to recalculate."

I liked the idea of Homura being a GPS and guiding Dave, even though she goes to pretty dark places sometimes.

What he's saying was irrelevant to what she was here to do. She focused on looking at his notebook, which was a mess of hiragana, English words and doodles. The last reminded Homura of Madoka, though Madoka didn't have the habit of drawing guys with huge noses, misshapen mouths and beards. She made herself focus on the hiragana showing the syllables of the words Strider wanted to form. If she were grouping the hiragana correctly, then Strider was able to answer the questions from their last class, just in the way an elementary school student might do it. The teachers would be expecting Strider to use kanji since its symbols would more accurately convey his words.

At the point I was writing this, I simply picked my own issues with Japanese to give to Dave. I was NOT thinking about the Witch/majo issue just then, though I love that scene in the anime. The thing about writing is that sometimes if you put in enough fun details, you can add depth to those details retrospectively.

Another fun thing I liked about Dave as a character was the Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff comics. So I had to continue to make Dave a doodler, and thanks to Homura having her Madoka lens on, the two types of doodles got compared.

English would give them a little protection from the curious onlookers, so Homura made an attempt. "You don't know kanji?"

"Not enough. Bro's the one who read manga. Didn't know skipping the otaku life was going to be a disadvantage, so I listened to more shows and music."

This was going to take a little longer than she expected. But since she had decided to help, she ought to see it all the way through. She put down the lunch box that she'd been about to bring to the rooftop where she and Kyouko shared their meals.

"We're having a picnic here in the classroom?” He pulled out a traditional looking bento box, though Homura couldn’t imagine Strider taking the time to make a proper decorative bento. “Sorry babe, I haven't prepped the fancy picnic mat, perfect weather or atmospheric drifting petals."

Similar to the kanji thing, I didn't mean to make food a thing. While it became significant to my version of Dave/Homura, it's best explained in the context of Kyouko, so I'll do that later.

Her hands now freed, she went back to her desk to get her own notebook and pencil case. She brought all these over to Strider's desk, then pulled up a chair too.

“Now you're channeling the vibes of a study session in a café. Can’t we just do the picnic?"

"Work before food," she informed him, opening her notebook to a new page where she rewrote the sentence she had been looking at. "Is this what you meant?" She explained the kanji to him.

"Welp, you've gone and done it now."

"Done what?"

"Upstaged me in being a knight in shining armor, in the hopes I would collapse onto the nearest fainting couch. Got to break it to you that I don't swoon that easy, you got to defeat my greatest foe, switch up universes or translate this for me."

Strider flipped to a page that was entirely in English. Homura glanced at it before turning the full force of her glare on him. "My English is not as good as yours."

"C'mon, I'll explain it to you."

Between translating that page into Japanese and the explanations back and forth in both English and Japanese, enough time had passed that Homura opened her lunch box to let Strider know he could eat, too. Instead, she spotted Strider sneaking some cocktail sausages from her. She considered rapping him over the knuckles the next time he tried. But she suspected that his actual lunch was as jumbled as Kyouko's, and she let Kyouko share her food, too. So she pretended not to see Strider helping himself to food that she'd prepared.

Halfway down the page they were on Strider also gave up on both translation and sneaking food and popped open the cover of his lunch. Homura's hunch was confirmed - every compartment seemed to consist almost entirely of fried things, and they were not arranged with any kind of artistic merit. It qualified for the same category as Kyouko's lunch, which mostly consisted of snacks from the convenience store.

This entire section is an excuse to harp on Dave and Kyouko's respective back stories for this fic, though Homura only knows Kyouko's backstory at this point. But it's all new to the readers so in it goes.

"You can have some too."

Strider had misinterpreted her staring at his lunch. "No, thank you."

"There goes my quick-and-easy version of repaying my debts. Do I have to roll out the full red carpet treatment, all camera flashes and fancy couture?"

I don't know if Glam Cam is already a thing in 2012, but if I can have hybrid Dirk Bro, Dave can yank a few memories from Director Dave, as a treat.

Homura focused only on the part that deserved a response. "You don't have any debts to repay."

"An entire class and only you popped by." Strider waved vaguely in the direction of the gathered gossips. "Unless you're the Champion of Transfer Students, I thought we had something special."

"Don't flatter yourself."

"I can see it now, you ride in all gallant and dashing, transfer students toss you their favors... so that's how you got all chummy with Sakura huh? What favor did she give you?"

"Sakura-san doesn't just give people things." Homura thought about it and then had to admit, "Except food."

Strider attempted to waft the scent of his lunch at her, which Homura waved away.

"There's got to be something that you like."

She didn't let him go off on one of his tangents again. "What I like is none of your concern, Strider." She tugged out the pages of the notebook she had written on, and left those on his desk. "I hope that's good enough."

His eyes weren't the only ones following her back to her desk. It was fine - she'd been the center of attention before.


Dave was sure that this outing with Bro had started with the intention of finding hints that the universe was shifting. That plan didn't fit with the anime store that they were in right now.

Alright, three stories worth of otaku wet dreams would never have made it to Houston, so Bro was excused for making a direct swan dive into that sweet sweet swag. Except now Bro wanted Dave to sink into the depths of depravity with the blind boxes that he was holding out.

I don't know what crack I was on when I wrote this line, but "three stories worth of otaku wet dreams" is something I even quote to myself.

"You want me to what?"

"Seal these boxes back up with your powers."

"Must have skipped the part of the timeline where you explained why they are even open in the first place."

"I only wanted this one," Bro rattled the box in his left hand, which was, what a fucking surprise, also opened. "But I didn't know which box had the one I wanted until I got through these." He lifted the carton in his right hand, which had maybe, oh, about half of them opened.

"I don't know what's acceptable in the universe where Earth did a Waterworld, but I'm pretty sure in this one a normal human being would buy them, THEN open them."

I have a soft spot for this movie so this is what I thought of when I first saw Dirk's version of Houston. So I gave the line to Dave.

"We're not normal human beings, or you wouldn't have the powers to rewind time and seal them back up. Buying that many isn't an option on a teacher's salary, especially when that's what's keeping up our lifestyle here. Between that and all the kanji drills, you owe me."

"So this is your boon for torturing me, that's how we're doing rewards in this game." Dave did take the carton from Bro. At least the training by the Dirk edition of Bro had some actual use, instead of putting Dave off any hint of a fi-

It didn't matter. Dave's thoughts didn't have to go there anymore.

He pored over the carton, even though this part of his time powers didn't need much of his concentration. Hell, it was the entire basis of how he shifted his swords between 1/2 bladekind and bladekind and he'd been using it on the fly during battle when every moment was a fine line between life and -

His thoughts didn't have to go there either. This was a cushy universe as long as they were all playing the waiting game instead of doing something.

This is where I sometimes regret not writing a little more prequel to this fic. In addition to the whole how did we get here from Homestuck's canon, there was a whole backstory to Dave and Dirk Bro's dynamic that we only see in its current state. Unfortunately due to Dirk's current meat suit, Dave is working out a lot of his issues with Original flavour Bro on Dirk, even more so if Dirk was as he'd met Dave in the game. While it's a step up from treating Dirk Bro as Bro, that means that Dave can ramp up to being nasty because he rightly knows that he isn't going to catch hands for some of the nastier stuff.

Also I assumed Dave is having a bit of PTSD from all the fighting that went on in SBURB.

What Dave did right now was to feel out the timeline of these blind boxes, make sure that he traced them to a point in time where they already had the figurines inside them and had been sealed. About one week ago should do it. He hadn't gotten around to checking how long the effects of his powers lasted, but he had marked off on his mental calendar not to be here in one week's time.

For good measure he did the same to the blind box that Bro was holding, so that he could pay for it without sending the shop assistant into a fit at the sight of the damaged item. Bro tossed off a salute in thanks.

"Like you get off that easy for making me use my powers after all of Jade’s talk about keeping a low profile. I need you to drop new gear and a level upgrade."

"Like it's a big deal to use powers. If you know how to keep a low profile when using them, you can make it a daily workout like I have," Bro scoffed, and then headed off to the check out.

It took Dave a good five seconds to figure out that statement. When they had decided to test their powers, they had drifted towards their own partners for different capabilities. Space and time usually affected each other when they shifted, so Jade was a natural shoo-in for Dave's partner. When Rose wasn't using her Seer powers to look for things John could safely attempt to retcon, Dave was sort of helping John with his Retcon powers (hadn't worked on any of the timelines they'd found, even though statistically one of them had to be the alpha timeline). Roxy Mom, to use Jade's nicknames, had been helping Dirk Bro because their Rogue and Prince powers had links to taking things, and Dave had left them to it. Maybe that hadn't been such a good idea, since it wasn't fair the adults dicked around while Dave kept his powers tamped down, as if that wasn't what had landed them here -

Another speed run of where everyone is at! If I were a better writer, I'd be able to have the characters turn up and share these things themselves.

His mind reached the dead end of that thought as he hit a block in the maze of shelves. By the time Dave extracted himself, Bro had paid and was about to exit the line.

Even though it sent the more wary part of his instincts blaring, Dave stood toe to toe with Bro. The proximity let Dave demand in a low tone, "So this is about the time that you tell me I didn't hear anything about powers, or daily, or powers used daily."

The proximity bothered Bro enough that he grabbed Dave by the shoulders and moved him bodily out of the way. Even though Dave knew from their sparring that Bro was capable of it, it still stung to be reminded that even to this Bro, he was still younger (weaker).

Personally, I think Dave needs to acknowledge some of the messed up ways he thinks about Bro before he can work through them. This is one of the messed up thoughts.

Unaware of Dave's thoughts, Bro shouldered past Dave to head to the capsule machines. When Dave followed, Bro said, "Don't get your panties in a twist. We're just using our powers to look at things."

"What, looking at how to break hearts?" Dave himself flinched back from the words once they had come out of his mouth.

"By looking at the reverse of what comes easiest to me, yes." Bro kept his gaze on the machine he'd stopped in front of for a minute longer than he had to. By the time he looked back at Dave again, both their expressions were as equally and as carefully blank. "One of the things I've been practicing is how to see souls."

I once saw a meta that mentioned Heart powers in Homestuck made sense if you thought about them like the kanji for Heart. For the Japanese, Heart means both the physical heart, and the spiritual heart or the soul. And we're in Japan so I might as well use the double meaning.

"Not sure Lord English even has a soul to look at."

"Maybe not. But it's the safest thing to practice while we figure out what this universe can handle. I've been doing this long enough to see something weird in Mitakihara. The people here, they have souls that aren't in the right place."

"You mean hearts this time."

"Nope. Souls."

This is an intentional hint, because I was pretty sure that I wanted the PMMM magic to be actually powered by parts of their souls. Especially when it comes to Madoka's arrows

"Here I was all set to master my Persona and join the Phantom Thieves of Hearts."

This earned a smirk from Bro. "With two Striders in town, the big bad won't know what hit him."

Despite the fallout from his earlier outburst, Dave felt a corner of his mouth lift. "So what's the low-down on this soul thing?"

"Most souls I've seen are always in the same place within the body. In Mitakihara, some souls shift even as I'm looking at them."

"Maybe that's just a Japanese thing, getting all shy that a gorgeous gaijin is checking them out."

"One of those with shifting souls is Homura Akemi, and she won't even give you the time of the day."

"Never asked her, because I always know what time of day it is. I guess you're just seeing proof that her beauty is literally unnatural."

Bro gave Dave the full force of his attention in the same way he had in the admin office on the first day of school. Like then, Dave didn't fold.

Bro scoffed. "Even before using my Heart powers, I already know it's a bad idea to hang out with her."

"You're just jealous that no cute guys are into your version of Strider sex appeal."

For the record, while everyone is bi unless proven otherwise in my fics, I'm leaning towards Dirk being gay. Or else not over Jake enough to care either way. Sorry Mami!

"My version of sex appeal is too pure and undistilled for anyone to think about tapping when they like. Your version is the bootleg knock-off that you peddle on the street corner to anyone who comes along. Still, if you decide Akemi deserves your moves, I reserve the right to say I told you, dog."

"Someone needs to get a recording of this, it almost sounded like a confession that you really do care."

Bro turned on his heel to leave, but he did flash his middle finger over his shoulder.


Bro wasn't the only one who was seeing weird things, because the next week at school Dave spotted a creature that should not exist.

For a moment, he thought that his riffing off with Bro during this English lesson was so biznasty that it spontaneously opened up a worm hole which started dumping bizarre creatures in class, and he and Bro would have to save the whole world with the power of song. But then the creature just hopped up onto Sakura's bag and started napping, which wasn't quite in keeping with alien overlords that wanted to take over the world, so Dave put down his metaphorical sword and slouched back to just watch it.

It was a really bizarre thing, as if someone thought “yo sup dawg I heard you like ears so I put some ears in your ears so you hear while you hear.” Then that someone added bling to those ears, and also decided that pink, red and white was a rad combo. Definitely a new species of Hello Kitty.

If you saw Part 3 of my fic commentary, you'd recognise this snippet. Actually, the part that I took from the original draft goes on for most of this section, but I had other comments I wanted to go more into depth.

Yet no one was paying any attention to that weird thing. Dave thought it'd be like a Pokemon moment, gotta catch them all so get that weird cat! But no, no reaction from anyone at all. Not even Bro, who he thought would spare a sarcastic comment on the mutant pet.

He sneaked a glance at Sakura. She was sucking on a mint and completely ignoring the thing on her bag. No help there.

I feel not enough Kyouko at school fics deal with Kyouko's oral fixation. I feel that it's not just an optional character trait at this point, but a hint of how she's dealing with issues that wouldn't have gone away just because she decided to go to school.

Then he sneaked a glance at Akemi, who was also doing nothing more than eyeing that creature, too. Huh, figured that Akemi would even be chill about an alien creature that turned up in the classroom. He was starting to think nothing would surprise her.

She slid her eyes from the creature to Dave. Naturally he gave her a coolkid smirk.

She just flicked her eyes skywards and turned back to listen to Bro Sensei. When Dave looked back to Sakura's bag, the mutant pet was gone.

He meant to forget about the Cheshire invisible alien cat, until he spotted Akemi with a brand new accessory at the end of school. Dave stared at the marshmallow fluff masquerading as a mutant Hello Kitty headband.

Can you believe that this entire fic exists due to the line above? Back then, I was writing to picture prompts, and one of the pictures that I dug up (uncredited) was this picture.



I just thought that it would be nice to exercise my Dave voice in describing the picture, and the rest is history.

Well, here was his chance of finding out what it was. He walked over to Akemi, who was focused on packing her bag instead of whatever it was on her head. "Fancy headgear," he said in English, because he had no idea what turn the conversation would take.

She touched a hand to her head and took his cue on the language. "Strange that you should only comment on it now."

She thought he was talking about her ribbon. "No, that's totally your signature headgear, you keep doing that. Just saying you got an invader violating your head space."

Alien rabbit cat just cracked open a beady red eye and flicked an ear at him. The cat-like part of its ear, not the bunny-like bit. Its fluffy tail was trailing along the side of Akemi's hair like Davy Crockett's racoon tail hat. Akemi just looked at Dave as if he were the one who'd gone mad.

I feel that as a Texan, Dave just had to reference Davy Crockett for state pride.

And maybe he had, if he was seeing invisible fluff balls everywhere. "Just hold still and let me get that."

He meant to tug on the thing's tail, but it whisked its ridicufluffyhuge tail out of his grasp and darted down to perch on Akemi's shoulder. That's not nice, Dave Strider.

The words bloomed in his head in his inner voice, if his inner voice was high-pitched and overly formal. "A psychic talking invisible cat-bunny alien. Alright, what shitty 2D cartoon did you pull yourself from?"

If you really believed I couldn't exist, you wouldn't be able to see me.

Dave had something witty to say to that, he really did, but that program completely crashed when he committed the fatal error of looking at Akemi. There was a cold edge in her eyes that put a completely new meaning to "staring daggers".

Look, there's a reason why Coolmura is my favourite character over Moemura. I just find it so hot when she's all Snow Queen.

Which was why when she said the single word, “Come,” he’d followed under the pull of her command and the push of his own curiosity. With all the students leaving school, she brought Dave and the passenger on her shoulder to what must be the only empty stairwell in the entire building.

"Off," she said to the March Hare Lopunny thing and shrugged her shoulder. It wasn’t immune to her commands either and leapt off, but wound itself around her ankles and curled its tail like a question mark, which only slightly made up for its one note expression.

It's not my fault that he's a strange one. I value privacy as much as you do.

"Then you should stay out of this conversation." She looked back to Dave. "You can see him?'

"Hey, isn't he your buddy or pet or battling Pokemon? You did let him perch on your head."

"He is convenient," she said, which was a weird way to talk about a companion you could wear on your head. "I have no control over what he does. Which is why I want to know - did you make a contract with him?"

Dave stared. "Ain't got a pen and haven't seen any fucking paper or fine print. What, is he a lawyer on top of being a mind-reading smart-talking Pokemon? Man, Japan is crazy."

"That doesn't matter." She looked strangely relieved. "When he's not making contracts, he's tolerable."

I don't understand, said the creature, head tilted to one side to regard the both of them.

I also love me a confused Kyubey, so be prepared for me to overuse this line.

"I'm just as confused as he is. I've got enough questions to start a game show. What is he, how did you get to know him, why can the both of us see him but not anyone else?"

"All you need to know is he is an Incubator."

Akemi's steely tone was a stark contrast to the perky tones of the Incubator, Akemi Homura formed a contract with me and became a Puella Magi!

What sort of Harry Potter Latin spewing alien mess had Dave gotten himself into?

Look, the average person is only going to know about Latin from Harry Potter, and Dave's still politically incorrect enough to use this reference. Also I still love this cliffhanger way too much.

Next chapter to be commented on!

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