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Wednesday, December 21st, 2016 10:11 pm
I can't believe I forgot I was backing this up!

Summary:(Star Trek and Zootopia crossover) Judy Hopps doesn't do diplomacy. Nick Wilde doesn't do Away missions. Both of them are going to have to make up for what the other lacks if they're going to survive Draconis and maybe save Captain Bogo while they're at it.

Sequel to "the map that leads to you". Features Judy firing big guns, Nick sassing everyone and romance on a planet where reptiles are the dominant species and mammals are not.

Rating: T
Genre: Gen, slices of romance, sci-fi, action/adventure
Warnings for: Fantastic racism, if Nick had a tombstone it would read "dead from deadpan", STAGGERING LEVELS OF COMPETENCY
Disclaimer: If I owned both Star Trek AND Zootopia, I would be paying other people to write this.

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5


Nick was as happy as a clam. He was back on the ship, where no camouflaged Draconians were waiting for him. He had returned from an Away mission with all his extremities - fingers, toes and most importantly his head. He was even getting random crew members who didn't know him congratulating him on a job well done. He could see how Judy had gotten used to all this.

Which made him extra confident when he met Finnick at the still in the deepest parts of a starship's inner workings, half hidden by mysterious tubes and stacked boxes, some empty, some not. "Finn!" He threw himself into the extra deckchair that Finnick kept around for no good reason, before aiming finger guns at his bud. "Hit me with your best shot."

Finnick, already making a headstart on drinks for the week, eyed Nick over his glass. "If that's leading up to a pun on stunning, Wilde, I swear to God I will shoot you."

"No, no. I want the best shot of what you have in the still." Nick pretended to browse the containers in the still. "I want - "

Finnick actually threw out an arm, when Nick was still seated in his chair and was nowhere near the batch he was pointing at. "No."

"C'mon, you've been saving that for a special occasion! It doesn't get more special than your old pal making it off Draconis."

"So you could continue to be a pain in my ass? The kind most mammals would have seen the doctor about?"

"You know, to hear you talk about your best bud this way really hurts my heart." Nick pretended to clutch his chest. "Obviously the only way you can make it up to me is to give me your best gin. Medically certified, I was once a doctor you know."

"Wearing medic blues and waving a fake certificate doesn't make you a doctor."

"Shame, you made an awesome nurse."

Since the spare boxes made for shitty camouflage, Nick thought Finnick kept them around so he could thump his glass on them, as he did now. "I thought we agreed not to talk about it ever again."

"Who, me? I'm not the one who brought up the Medical scam." Nick kicked back in his chair, making sure to keep himself the very picture of nonchalence. "Buuuuuuut for the cheap cheap price of your best gin, I might be convinced to let it flit out of my mind."

"That's the Nick I work with," Finnick admitted.

"You know it. Now about that drink -"

Finnick's grin was fierce. "How about this side of never, Wilde?"

"Oh no, you've gone and done it. Don't make me use the photo of you in the elephant onesie."

"Do that, and I'll transport your dumb ass back to Draconis. I've got the coordinates for a dunk in the river all ready to go."

Nick held up his paws in surrender. "That's the Finnick I work with. You drive even harder bargains than Ilysia."

"You'd coax the last strand of fur off us if we didn't." Despite his gruff words, Finnick had a platter of potato wedges already cooling on a box set strategically between the two chairs. Nick tossed a wedge into his mouth - not greasy enough, but it had a nice balance between a crunchy outside and a squishy inside.

"Is there a show to go with this?" Nick wondered, as he helped himself to another wedge and Finnick finally put a glass of regular moonshine next to the platter.

"Benji's got a feed of the Great Draconian Dressing Down going on. Bogo's doing a great job tearing Rindja a new one, considering he's no chomper. I heard your fellow runaway Plumi made a guest appearance."

Nick was very glad that he had a glass of moonshine to swig from. The burn of alcohol was a good replacement for the bitterness at the mention of the Draconian who played him out. "Pass. I've spent my whole shift reading Draconian, I don't want any more of the language during my break. The entire language is starting to look like Ilysia rolled over in ink and wriggled really hard."

"You're expecting good handwriting from aliens with no hands?" Finnick pointed out.

A new voice piped up, "How do Draconians write anyway?"

Nick recognised the voice that had posed the last question. He made sure his moonshine was in full view as he turned a smirk on Judy. "Carrots! Never thought I'd see you in the dodgy depths of the ship. Otterton's wine wasn't cutting it anymore?"

"I'd much rather drink myself blind than look at my blank report." She attempted to swipe Nick's drink as she passed, prompting him to hold it out of her reach.

"Hopps hasn't done her homework? Attempting to drink illicit booze? Help us all Hopps has been replaced by a pod person!"

Finnick was more interested in the reference to his drinks. "Who said you'd drink yourself blind here?"

Flustered, Judy stopped reaching for Nick's drink, which allowed Nick to hug it to his chest as he told Finnick, "Carrots here seems to think your drinks are a health hazard. Which makes her attempt to drink here extra suspicious."

"I - I just meant I didn't know how much alcohol you had in your drinks!"

"That so? Then try it for yourself." As Finnick busied himself at the still, Judy shot Nick an annoyed look. Nick would have taken an obnoxious guzzle of his drink if Finnick hadn't returned with Judy's drink.

"You're giving her the best stuff!"

"You got a problem with that, Wilde?" Finnick challenged as he handed Judy the best gin he had in the still.

"No, no of course not. You've always liked her better, even though we've been hustling together for years - "

"Because you're an annoying pissbaby who's too busy being butt-hurt to have any business sense right now. So whaddya think, Hopps? Reckon we could put Otterton out of business?"

"I don't think asking me is fair," Judy muttered, but she took a sip of the drink that Finnick had handed her. Her eyes widened a little. "This - this is really good!"

"Heh. We'll make a customer out of you, Hopps. Then I'll be able to tell Otterton to suck it! Speaking of that, I gotta make it to the viewing party before Otterton thinks he's the only bartender in town. Ciao."

He darted under a tarp and re-emerged pushing a cart of clanking bottles, cackling all the while as he left.

"I feel I've been tricked into picking a side," Judy said as she watched Finnick go.

"Well, if you're having a crisis of conscience I could help you take that off your paws - "

"You already have your own drink, Wilde."

"Who was trying to get a bit of my drink earlier? I'll share mine if you share yours."

She didn't even bother hiding her incredulous look, with one eyebrow raised to almost comic proportions. But she still traded glasses with Nick to take a cautious sip.

He hid his smirk in her glass as she spluttered. Finnick had made the gin smooth, the complete opposite of his usual moonshine that went down like a firecracker, much like its maker. It was easy for Nick to go from the moonshine to the gin. For Judy, not so much on the opposite.

"Still got your lungs, Fluff?"

She finally managed words, "You tricked me!"

"It's called a hustle, sweetheart. And I'm not the liar, blame Finnick and his false advertising."

"He did do a good job with the gin," she countered, and held out her paw for her glass.

They swapped drinks again. Nick chased the smoothness of the gin away with more moonshine when Judy sat down in the other deckchair. Why did Finnick have to leave? Drinks with his buddy were quiet. Drinks with Judy, well. The last time he had drinks with Judy, it was something much like this.

Including the part where she should be anywhere else but here. "Shouldn't you be at the Great Dressing Down, Hopps? You were part of the diplomatic team."

"I was. But I don't care much for what happens to Rindja and the others. The Captain - the Captain says he doesn't want the Integrity involved in future negotiations. There are other ships that can represent the Federation."

"Someone finally read my 2 out of 5 stars review. Think we can get Bogo to leave one too?"

Judy was scowling at her drink as if she hadn't been singing its praises earlier. Nick knew something was up when he saw her claws, usually managed so carefully, scrape against her glass.

"Or did you want to leave the review?" He prompted. He knew that wasn't it when she curled her fingers such that her claws were hidden in her fists. "It's a lot easier than writing a report - "

"None of this would have happened if Starfleet had listened to you." Even though she'd said it mostly to her glass, Nick still caught her fierce whisper. "You knew what the Draconians were like. They should have listened."

"If they'd listened to me, I wouldn't have been attached to the Away team. Then I wouldn't have been able to sweep in like the dashing hero I am to your rescue, wouldn't that be a pity?"

Usually Judy would have challenged him on who exactly was doing the rescuing. Instead, she reached out to brush her fingers with such tenderness against the side of his face, a gentle breeze to the blazing sun of her gaze. "I'll listen to you, even when no one else will."

Judy and her grand gestures that shook him down to the core. Play it smooth Wilde. It wasn't as if this bunny hadn't made herself matter more than anything else.

Nick still made a valiant attempt. "Perfect, because I want to be absolutely certain you know I've got your birthday present right here! Am I not the best?"

He drew smug satisfaction from the irritation that seeped into her gaze, even going to the extent of humming as he put aside his drink to rummage in the box he'd hid her present in. Purely a happy coincidence - he'd actually hidden the present at the still because he had counted on it as the last place on the ship she'd ever go to. The past Ensign Hopps would have seen herself above all things dodgy. How things had changed. How he himself had changed, that what he was about to give Judy had no punchline to go with it.

Judy had her doubts still, as she watched him dig through the box. "Let me guess, it's a bikini," she deadpanned. When Nick finally found the box and showed her exactly how large it was, she amended, "Several bikinis."

"One for every day in the year," he suggested as he lugged the box over. He was glad when he was able to put the box down in her lap.

Judy started at the weight. "What, is it made of metal?"

Nick perched on the edge of Judy's deckchair, facing her. "Hey, I thought you of all people would appreciate Princess Leia Eargana."

"I appreciate Princess Leia for her character, not her metal bikini. I'm not as shallow as you are, Wilde."

"Ouch. You're going to be really sorry you said that once you see what I got you."

He'd left her present disassembled so it was easier to hide. As an armoury officer, Judy recognised the pieces as soon as she opened the box. "You - you got me a new rifle."

She trailed her fingers over the length of the barrel, lingering over the bumps of the rifle's sight. She curled her paw around the grip, one finger resting on the trigger as she confirmed that it had been sized exactly for her.

Then she smirked at Nick and said in her sweetest tones. "Please tell me you didn't replicate this yourself."

"Fluff! To doubt my intentions!"

"I'd have taken this at face value, Wilde, if I wanted to run the risk of being blown up when I assembled this. You have any idea how much explosive power there is in a single rifle clip?"

Nick raised his paws in mock surrender. "You got me. 70% of it is delivery from Starfleet, rifle for a rabbit. The other 30% are optional add ons from Finnick and yours truly."

"Aww, how sweet of the fox," she wheedled in tones of syrup. "10 out of 10 for effort, though that's only for 30% of a birthday present."

"Oh is that how it is? Are we giving scores for this too? Because you're about to get bottom marks in your thanks - "

She'd reached out to curl her fingers in his collar and tug him over for a kiss. She tasted of juniper and citrus, the bracing notes of pine and zest. Finnick's gin on its own had never tasted so good.

"9 out of 10 - " Nick's attempt to give a grade trailed off when he saw Judy’s expression had gentled.

"This rifle will keep me safe during missions. You have done so much to keep me safe during missions."

"Are you sure you're talking to the right fox? That doesn't sound like a Communications thing."

She didn't take the bait and let him downplay this. "I've said it before - you made it possible for me to call down the entire ship if I needed to. This mission you've done so much that you usually avoid. You entered an enemy base. All that you've done to keep me safe, do - do you get tired of doing that?"

"I don't know, Fluff," He kept his voice light and teasing. "I'm not the one shooting Draconians at point blank. You keep yourself plenty safe."

"Not as safe as you think I'd be on the Integrity." She set the box aside so she could scooch closer to Nick. "I know it didn't seem like I was listening when you told me to go back to the ship during the mission. But I'm listening now. You can tell me what you really think, Nick."

"Do I feel being shipside is better? Yes, yes I do. It's not a great big secret that I think Away missions would send any sane mammal running in the other direction, Carrots. You just have a higher tolerance for them than I do."

"I could stay shipside. There are armory positions dealing only with starship mounted weapons. I could request for a transfer."

"Trading in your rifle for bigger guns? Well you'll certainly have a blast."

"I'm more interested to know if it'll ease your worry, dumb fox."

He'd previously thought that he had no defences left when it came to Judy, but she kept proving him wrong by dismantling barriers he hadn't even known he had. And she kept going as if she didn't realise, as she was now.

"I saw how tough it was to be the voice in the dark for me on this mission. On any mission. And I don't quite know what to do when it comes to you, but I thought that this was something I could try, and I do have the right training for this, and our shifts might actually start to overlap - "

She was startled into silence by the finger he pressed against her mouth.

"I appreciate the thought, Carrots." No wonder they called it cloying emotion, with how thick his voice had gone despite his best efforts. "But you don't have to change for me."

"It's OK - "

He shushed her. "No no no, you said you were going to listen to me even when no one else would. So please. Let me explain."

She opened her mouth, thought better of it, then shut it again. Satisfied she wasn't going to speak, he drew back his paw.

"The thing about the fancy schmancy Starfleet ads for Comms, Carrots, is that they're about the new people you'll meet and the languages you'll learn. What they don't show is that Comms officers listen to everything. Hails from other ships, chatter from Away teams, pings from planets and space stations... It's always shifting. Listen to it as long as I have without any constant, it becomes noise. Until there was you."

The humming of the starship engine caught Nick's attention then. He kept an eye on the nearest whirling component just in case. "When I heard your voice on the line the second time, I thought it was just a blip. Away teams don't make it back. But you were on the other end of the line a third time. A fourth. So many times, until the number was unimportant. Among the noise, there was you." He chuckled to himself. "So your obsession with Away missions is good for something - "

He was interrupted by Judy's paw cupping the side of his face, then they were kissing hard enough that it seemed their bodies minds souls were intertwined with each other. Nick still wanted more, his arms crushing her to him and his tail curling around her waist. Judy didn't seem to mind, keeping up the kiss even when Nick's teeth grazed her lips in the groan she'd drawn from him.

It was only when they broke apart for air that Nick could start stumbling his way to coherence. "With how you were trying to break the scale, I think I forgot my point."

"I think I get it," said Judy. It wasn't fair how she wasn't disorientated by the kiss. "If it wasn't for Away missions, we wouldn't have known each other better. I might have kept thinking you were a dodgy fox."

"Excuse you, I am still a dodgy fox. Did you forget we're making out at a moonshine still?" As blush coloured the inside of Judy's ears, Nick continued. "So if that still bothers you - "

"Not just a dodgy fox then. Nick, you're so much more than that. If you can cope with my Away missions, I can cope with your wheeling and dealing."

"Time will prove that point, Fluff." It would be easiest to kiss Judy then rather than dwell on this point, but something had just occurred to Nick. "If you're thinking of proving your point by breaking the smooching scale, I think you should know Finnick has cameras all over the still in case someone helps themselves to a free drink."

"Then I'll have evidence for what I'm going to say," said Judy, her strong voice at odds with her mortified expression. "I know we've had our moments of not being able to cope. This mission was a terrible, horrible example of what happens when we can't cope. That's why what I said about transferring isn't a one time offer. If you ever feel my voice on the line isn't worth your peace of mind, you can tell me."

"So wheedling confessions from me is going to be a thing? Mercy, Hopps, keep this up and we'll be setting new terms."

"Is that why you asked for more time for your half of the terms?" Denied the option of frantic make-outs, Judy had settled for cradling Nick's muzzle in both paws. "Don't - don't think of it as a confession, Nick. Think of it as helping me to understand the terms of our own agreement. You know how terrible I am at diplomacy, and this is a negotiation I don't want to get wrong. I really want to do something for you, you dumb fox."

"Fluff, admitting a weakness." He pressed his nose against her cheek and breathed in the scent of bunny. "There are days when I wonder if I'm dreaming."

"As Security, I'm pretty sure I could punch you awake." Her playful tone made for an interesting counterpart to how she was leaning into the press of his muzzle.

Nick could do playful. "Ouch. I take that back, Hopps is as violent as ever, all is right in the universe. Is this payback for the bikini comment? Is that what this is?"

"I don't know, Wilde. How terrible is this bikini going to be?"

"I'm sure I could make an extremely tasteful bikini... if I actually had your measurements."

"I can't tell you something I don't know. If only there was a fox willing to help me."

Nick nearly tipped Judy out of his lap, before groping for his drink and downing it at one go. The burn of the moonshine was better than Judy's fists in proving he wasn't dreaming. "I think that's a discussion that needs to be taken elsewhere."

Judy's paw in his free paw drew a warmth that had nothing to do with the alcohol. "I'll go where you need me to, Nick. You're stuck with me."

He squeezed her paw. "How about that, Judy. You took the words right out of my mouth."

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